Oh Closure, Where Art Thou

Closure…What is it about that word?

Why do we need it so much?

It’s like air to our lungs, isn’t it?

Why do we lament over it and torture ourselves looking for it?

Why can’t we just clap our hands, ridding them of the mess, and shout, “C’est la vie”?

But oh no, we like our relationships, our conversations, our circumstances, to end like pretty packages that are all neatly wrapped up and tied with a

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little bow.

How many sleepless nights have you experienced because that same conversation, the one you rehashed a million times already, keeps playing over and over again in your head?

How many times have you replayed the same scenario as you washed dishes or vacuumed the floor?

How many times have you thought of things you shoulda, coulda, woulda, wished you had said or done differently?

Yet none of those things change a single outcome.

So, what are we supposed to do?

People are still going to come and go from the church like we won’t notice, or care. Like we don’t have anything invested in them, their lives or their family.

People are still going to die and leave us with a million words left unsaid, smiles and laughs unshared, and love ungiven.

People are still going to infuriate us and because we are wives…we are going to hold our tongues. And smile, don’t forget the smile!

We are still going to smile, we are still going to care, we are still going to keep on going, giving our all; because we love Jesus.

And it’s all for Jesus, right?

Perhaps Ephesians 4:26 gives us a little guidance, “Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” (NKJV)

We can’t take back words once they slip from our lips; but we can try to repair the damage.

We have no control over other people and how they do things.

We do, however, have control over our own self, our tongues, our attitudes, our actions, and our minds.

We have the power to forgive and to seek forgiveness.

We need to let others know when they have hurt us.

We need to say out loud, “I need help” and expect it to come.

We will find closure when we stop taking responsibility for other people’s actions.

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We will find closure when forgiveness is given and received.

We will find closure when we take action.

We will find closure when we accept that there is nothing we can do to change or remedy some situations.

Unfortunately, we don’t always get to have a going away party, a funeral, or other ocassion to neatly close up all the lose ends of life.

We simply need to shut off the light, turn the key, or close the lock, and leave it be.

We aren’t meant to open back up the doors God closes. If he closed it, he did it for your good.

So, instead of instant replays or rehashes, let’s divert our energy into something useful.

Let’s get busy and fill our minds with organizing and planning things of merit.

If that doesn’t work….well, there is still the option to break something! You just have to clean it up afterwards.

His mercies are new every morning, praise the Lord for his goodness, his faithfulness, and his long-suffering towards us.




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